Boundaries for People Pleasers

Do you often go with the flow, even when you would rather be doing something else, to “make” the rest of the group happy, but feel resentful after?  

Do you do anything possible to avoid emotional discord, disagreements, or uncomfortable situations?

Is it difficult for you to say no?

Are you indecisive?  Do you base your decisions on other people’s judgments?

Do you blame yourself for another person’s unhappiness, or take responsibility for another person’s emotional wellbeing? 

Do you often feel like you give and give without getting anything in return?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, you are probably a people pleaser.  Don’t worry. I’m a natural people pleaser too. The good news is, the first step to change is awareness.  Now that you are aware, you can work to change people pleasing habits. It was possible for me and it is totally possible for you to step into your power, be a kind person, and have boundaries that allow you to love without sacrificing yourself to the point of exhaustion and internal frustration. 

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An Affirmation for Feeling Good

Last weekend I heard Gabby Bernstein speak about manifestation. I came across Gabby’s books at a time in my life when I had hit rock bottom—ended a long term relationship, left my apartment, moved out of NYC, was depressed, lost, and hopeless.

She listed this affirmation as an important step in her “Manifestation Jumpstart” workshop. Gabby reminded me that when we feel good, we vibrate with a certain energy and in turn, attract miraculous things/situations/people into our life. By letting go of unworthiness, we release resistance to abundance.

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A Simple Affirmation For Self Love & Acceptance

Affirmations are an effective way to raise your vibration and to tune your frequency to that of love.  I started practicing affirmations about 10 years ago as a way to help reprogram my mind from self hating, fear thoughts into supportive, loving ones.

We have 1,440 minutes per day.  How will you spend each minute? Can you imagine how much your vibration would change if you attune more of those minutes to loving thoughts?  

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What To Do & Not Do When Your Friend Has Had A Breakdown

Your friend or loved one has had a breakdown.  Maybe they’ve had a depression relapse, or a self harm relapse.  Perhaps an old traumatic memory has surfaced, and they’re going through a dark night of the soul.  Maybe they’re experiencing a spiritual emergency. You may feel the heavy weight of this news and are unsure of where your responsibility lies. You may feel helpless.  Here’s a list of things you can do, and not do, to move through this situation with compassion and effectively support the person you care about. 

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I Got Kicked Out of Vipassana: Psychotic Break or Spiritual Emergency

I entered Vipassana, a 10-day silent meditation course, with the hopes of gaining a renewed sense of clarity, grounding, and calm.  I left halfway through feeling traumatized, fragile, and in a state of paranoia, fear, and dissociation. I felt like I was in between dimensions and not wholly present in this one, the one where I am a woman living in the year 2019 on planet Earth.  I write this nearly two months after leaving the course, and I can tell you that I will never be the same. According to my naturopathic doctor, my nervous system has gone into stress overdrive and survival mode. One thing I have learned from the Vipassana technique is anicca — impermanence, accepting reality as it is.  And as it is, I am rebuilding.  

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The Best Cane Sugar Free, Dairy Free Cookie Recipe

When the test results came back, and I found out I had a high inflammatory response to dairy, eggs, and cane sugar, I wasn’t surprised, but I was bummed. I allowed myself to sulk for a day, then I got it together and set out on a mission to make some delicious shit free of those things. After a few months of testing, barely edible batches, online research and fidgeting, the following recipe is completely and perfectly NOM.

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5 Ways to Ground Yourself Before/During/After A Spiritual Awakening

Many of us are waking up.  We are seekers on the spiritual path, yearning to know more about our purpose, about why we are here on planet Earth, about who or what is God and what is Source consciousness.  Since I was a toddler, I have pondered these questions. I had just learned to use the toilet, but I wanted to know why I was born into my specific family. As an adult, I have been drawn to experiences that have taken me deeper along the path.  Whether you have just done a Bufo ceremony, finished intensive meditation or Kundalini yoga, or received a particularly enlightening message from your spirit guides, these are tips to ground yourself and bring you back into your physical body so that you can carry out your tasks on Earth.

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Mental Health Conditions & Romantic Relationships

This is a Facebook Live that Henry, my husband, and I filmed a few years ago for The Mighty. While I no longer identify with the term “mental illness,” this video still has some valuable insights into what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who is depressed, from the point of view of both partners.

Remember, no matter what, you cannot change your partner and it is not your responsibility to “make” them happy.

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MindVeronica Lombo