5 Things To Do If You're Going Through A Tough Time

There are different degrees of going through it.  Maybe you’re grieving a loss, the death of a loved one, or the death of a relationship.  You may be experiencing a difficult life transition. Or maybe, like me, you’re recovering from a spiritual emergency. Whatever it is, know that you are not alone. Here are five tips to help you through.  

1. Be sweet and kind to yourself.  

In these difficult moments, the ego (fear based) mind likes to creep in tell you some not nice things.  These might be ways that your parents or caregivers spoke to you while growing up, or it might be ways that you learned to speak to yourself. (“Get over it.”  “You’re too sensitive.” “You’re bad.” “Why can’t you get this right?”) Replace the negative self talk with loving affirmations. If you catch yourself beating yourself up, say, “I cancel this thought, and I choose again.”  Then, insert one of the following affirmations, or one of your own. 

I am doing the best I can.  

Everyday, in every way, I am getting better, better, better. 

I wholeheartedly love and accept myself. 

2. Allow yourself deep rest. 

It may feel like you’re not doing enough if you allow yourself to rest.  I live in NYC, and I understand this completely. But in order for you to be a channel for divine creativity in this world, and in order for you to serve others, you must be well.  Humans are not made to work 24/7. Our bodies are not equipped for long term performance with cortisol on overdrive. I invite you to see this breakdown as an opportunity to allow yourself to breathe, relax, and reset.  It is a signal from your body that it has had enough and needs to chill. It needs a break. YOU need a break! If possible, take time off work. Let yourself sleep, nap, spend time in nature, take a break off social media.  

3. Change is constant, and this feeling is temporary.  

Even if it doesn’t feel like it at this moment, know that this feeling will pass.  Rather than fighting and resisting, try to accept it. It is not good. It is not bad.  It just is. I am feeling ____ right now, but I will not feel like this forever. This will pass.  

4. Draw boundaries.

Do not feel the need to respond to every text, or comment, or email.  If you need to take a break from social media, do it! If a friend is offering an overwhelming amount of unsolicited advice, don’t be afraid to say so. 

“I know you are trying to help, and I appreciate it, but this is overwhelming right now.  I don’t need your advice, I just need your energetic support and love.”

If you have a previous social commitment, it’s ok to cancel.  You might say, “I’m feeling low, and not ready to be social right now. I’m going to stay home. I hope you understand.”  

5. Ask for help when you need it.  Be clear and direct. 

Other people cannot read your mind.  (Unless you’re like me and have psychic friends, ha!)  If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.  It takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength to do so! Ask a trusted friend to sit with you and watch a rom com.  Or just be with you in your home so you have company. Maybe you just need a hug!  

“I’m going through it, and could use some company right now.”

“I’m feeling low, and not really in the mood to talk, but I don’t want to be alone.  Will you watch a movie with me?”

“I need a hug.”